my attempt at socializing this summer

So i just got back from new york city on sunday, it was a pretty interesting trip. especially when you're in fridays sitting next to a huge window and random old men stare into the window watching you eat. really, is it that interesting? anyway, i'm leaving next monday for canada with crew, we have a royal canadian henley race, not that that means anything to you. but i'm superrr excited. except the person causing all my issues is going to be there, but i'm making the best of it. then i get to go to my camp and then to ocean city, busy summer and i don't get to chill with anyone. soooo, yeah there's an update from me....

uhm, tooodles<3


"As soon as you get that feeling you can start to live again." (:

How about i do this to you?

It's really annoying how selfish and ignorant people are. Like i find more than enough people to be that way. They do something to hurt you; they say they understand that it hurts you; then they go ahead and do it anyway. If they really truly understand how you feel, and if they really care about you, then why would they do it. I know this is a little vague because i'm not getting in to my specific experience. All i can say is i'm trapped in the past. I hate when people tell me to forget about it, move on. It's like yeah okay i'll try but when you care about someone it's hard to let them go (again, vague. but lets just say there's this one kid...) And then when that person hurting me is getting in my way of having a friendship with..this one kid..whom i really care about, it makes me more mad than ever. Everytime i talk to her about it i find myself repeating myself over and over again. She knows shes done something wrong, but clearly doesnt care enough to fix it. Not even to make me feel better. How about i do that to her? Didnt think so. Basically the problems i had at the end of the school year kind of drifted into the beginning of summer and i'm hoping to come out of the past. It's not really easy.
I'm not sure if that made any sense to anyone except me but you know..whatever.


Hey you surround me like a blanket in my bed
The look in your eyes has stayed inside me
in my head
Outside it's snowing its odd for this time of year
Your light through the darkness
getting smaller i fear.

Love pulled us down in the gutter
can you see us getting out oh i wonder
It's a long long lonely fight down inside me
can i get you to bring back light or is this never again

Hey you're my weakness
still my lover in my mind
And you still control me
I put you so high
Hey did you forget you could never get enough
Well i'll always love you
no matter how far you run
~Midway State

byyyye,
Megs