You know, i've been pondering over whether or not i want to put myself out there a little bit more. In school i'm obviously loud and annoying but sometimes i ask myself if it's really me, or if i just do it because im capable of it, and because no one really minds. You always get those people who make comments about you but i seem to let it go more than i used to. I'm starting not to care. Is that a good thing? ~The question~
And besides that, you all know that i don't have a boyfriend, and i'm pretty sure you dont want to hear about this but if you don't then stop reading. I keep finding all these songs that i love and then i look up the lyrics and it's kind of ridiculous how it's all about break-ups and how things "used to be" and can't find any about real things that people care about. I know i just said i dont have a boyfriend, and yes, that was implying that i want one. But it's not like it takes over my life, it's not the only thing i want and it's deffinately not all i think about. There is this kid and i don't know much of what i want with him and i admit that i think about him a lot but theres so much more on my mind. I think the problem with people is that they are too wrapped up in someone else..and don't take time to think about the important stuff. What stuff you might ask? Well have you ever felt like you get everything you want except for what's important? I do. I mean i have an ipod, and a cell phone, and a computer, and almost everything i could want, but what i don't think i have is people showing me that they care. Like..someone in my family..buys me everything i want because i think thats the only way he can show me he cares. But i'm starting to realize that it cant be like that anymore. I get told all the time that i'm childish about everything, but the people telling me that are really the "childish" one's because i don't find anything wrong with telling someone how you feel. So what i'm looking for (the important stuff,) is respect and love i guess. And again, i don't mean from a boyfriend that i can wrap myself in and not take care of my schoolwork. I mean love from the people we have known our whole lives that just kind of start to fade into the background. I'm leaving you with the question of how do we let those people realize what's important without trying to change their opinion on life. I don't expect an answer, and maybe this whole blog and that question didn't make sense to you. It does to me, but I'll just stop writing if you let me know its all rambling. Quote time? I think yes. I changed it around a bit but it's all the same words.
Words I couldn't say
In a book, in a box, in the closet
in a line in a song I once heard
in a moment on a front porch late one June
In a breath inside a whisper, beneath the moon
-Rascal Flatts
